Post Pregnancy and Dealing with Insecurities.

I can dare to say that before having children my body was pretty good! I didn't really have many insecurities, I mean yes, like every young person, I wished to be skinny and have flawless skin, but for the most part I loved my body and embraced it pretty well. I was married almost a year when I found out I was pregnant, it was, besides my wedding day, the most exciting, scariest day of my life! My first reaction was YES! and then it was Wait, am I really ready?! and then it was, I have no idea what I'm doing! lol! 

Besides the morning sickness, I enjoyed my pregnancy.. My belly bump was all out in front! My first son, ended up being 9lbs, 4 oz.! So my belly had many many stretch marks, I tried cocoa butter and lotions but I think because I carried like a watermelon there was no avoiding the stretch marks. I even got stretch marks on my back from my skin pulling and some on my breasts. I gained about 30 lbs during that pregnancy.

When I had him, my life changed forever. My focuses as a person changed and I can't even explain all the feeling and emotions of that day! It was amazing. 

If you are interested: I finally got around to downloading the video taken of my firstborn's delivery! Here is that video! 

I really wish, there was a book or something I could've read that would have prepared me for my body after wards. I didn't even really think about it or what my plan would be after delivery. I definitely never expected to have all that extra loose unflattering skin, or that my stretch marks wouldn't disappear. I was kinda devastated! Here I was a new mother, my life turned upside down, and the one thing that I was comfortable with (my own body) had changed completely in under a year! 

I remember looking in the mirror and thinking who are you? And then instead of dealing the weight or physical change, I just decided to deny it, and think I can deal with it later, or maybe it'll just happen on it own. 

Well, Alex was only 6 months old with I got pregnant again!! So here, not at all recovering from my last pregnancy, I start another! And guess how much this one weighed at birth, 10 lbs 7 oz! and no I didn't not (thankfully) have Gestational Diabetes. I was worried about that, but my test all came in perfect. So 2 pregnancy's within 2 years. My body was completely shocked. It was about a year after having her that I decided to loose some weight and I actually lost about 50 lbs but then yep... I got pregnant again! haha!

So now, it's 3 pregnancies later and I'm heavier then I've ever been.. My youngest is 2 and I still don't know who that person is staring back at me in the mirror! That's why i needed this blog! It definitely keeps me accountable!! And I just have to say, Thank you to all those who have been messaging me and encouraging me and sending me tips and advice! I seriously love it and use it! I have lost 8 lbs in total so far and it's been slow but it's working! 

I'm not slacking off...

Hello! I am so so so so behind on this blog!! I really can't excuse it but I really have been busy and have had no time to sit down and write... but I have not been slacking off at all.. (I've even been interrupted 5 times from my kids just writing these first couple sentences now! lol )
I have lost 5.2 lbs since I last wrote which is awesome! I really haven't been doing alot of exercises either but I think being busy and on my feet was just enough.
Beside my highly energetic children and trying to keep them entertained in the house during sub zero temperatures, I have actually been working on my house! I've been painting, organizing, moving furniture and putting in new flooring. Let me tell you, putting in a new floor is like running a marathon.. I was so sore the next day I could barely walk. It definitely showed me what muscles I haven't used in awhile! haha!
I haven't been snacking hardly at all! I've been eating 3 meals a day and drinking water, skim milk, and my daily morning coffee.

Since writing my first post, I have had a bunch of people come up to me saying, there is no way you weigh that much! But I do! I do have one advantage though, I carry my weight pretty equally through out my body. I have never had large breasts or big butt.. I don't really have hour glass curves.. when I was young and thin I was shaped kinda like a boy.. broad shoulders, small chest, boxy,  no hour glass figure at all. I"m also 5'7 and a half".. which isn't super tall but taller then many. So being the weight I am, it's distributed pretty evening so it's sad that I can't really use the excuse I'm curvy.. which I so wish I was! I mean Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 and had beautiful curves! I would definitely be more ok with my weight if I had curves..

I have a confession though.... My sister's wedding is coming up May 3rd.. I'm a bridesmaid.. I ordered my dress.. and I purposely ordered it one size smaller then what I am! yelp! I am confident I can fit into it but I definitely need to step up my game!!

I also am doing a colon cleanse for the first time in my life.. starting next week. I know at my age I should probably be doing them more frequently and when I first considered it, I was terrified! I mean seriously, it does not sound fun at all... also I'm scared about what could come out! haha! TMI! But better out then in and I'm sure I'll feel great afterwards.
I also bought into that Garcina Cambogia hype.. after my cleanse, I'm going to give it a 30 day trial and I'll share the results with you as to if it works or not!

I am looking for a treadmill too!! So If you are reading this and live in my area and have one for sale let me know! I would love to buy it from you! :) 

Thanks for reading!! I love all the support I've been getting!!